Give it to me straight

Hey all....

I really need some feedback from all of you.
The last week+ I have been debating what to blog about next. I really think that I'm doing my best to post regularly here about what my life is like, and if you're one of my facebook friends I think you get a good gist there as well.
However, I constantly get people asking me to update them about what my life is like and what I'm up to now that Im living in NYC. First of all, generally my first question to them is "do you read my blog?". Secondly, it's not that I don't want to tell you each individually what I'm up to- it's just that writing a blog about it, and blasting it to everyone I know is much quicker for me and it saves me from telling the same story over and over again to people who have already heard it because I can't remember who I've told what.
Other than the fact that I'm living in (in my opinion) the most amazing city in the US- nothing too fabulous and amazing is going on; trust me, I'd share it with you if I thought it were worth sharing.

So here's what I want to know:

• Give me some specifics! Tell me what it is that you'd like to hear more or less of from me!
• Do you think I post too many pictures? Not enough?

Just let me know what your thoughts are, and I'll do my best to cater to each request. If you know me at all, you know I don't have any issue sharing :)
Please leave it in a comment bellow.

Thanks guys! Lots of love to you all!!

To drink or not to drink

That is the question...

This has been on my mind quite a lot lately. I’m not going to be drastic and make a claim that I’m going to stop drinking all together. Though I have thought about at least taking a month off. But the thing is, in general, I’m not a heavy drinker. So I don’t feel that by committing to taking just one month off would really do anything for me or teach me anything about whatever it is I’m needing to be taught right now. 

It’s no secret that alcohol is a depressant, and I feel like the last few times I have been drunk, I end up more upset than anything by the end of the night. Often crying. I feel like that has something to do with the fact that alcohol also lowers our inhibitions and while most of the time that’s a bad thing- all it does for me is just bring the truth about everything out. I think the reason why I cry when I’m drunk is because when I do drink, I’m finally letting myself feel whatever it is that I’m actually feeling but otherwise suppress. 

As a few (if not many) may already know- I have a really hard time controlling myself when it comes to drinking and texting, and as of lately, emailing. This is generally followed in the morning with a varying degree of regret. Sure, there are times when it’s just funny; but 99% of the time, I’m wishing I had listened to that little voice in my head telling me that sending that message might not be the best idea.  

I feel like to really make a difference in my life, I would have to completely stop drinking for an entire year- and honestly, that doesn’t even sound possible to me, nor does it really sound like something that I’m all that interested in doing. If I were to do it, it would have to be all or nothing. It wouldn’t be “oh a drink here, a drink there” or “just drinks on special occasions, birthdays, wedding, etc.”.

What’s funny, is I don’t even really like the taste of alcohol. I absolutely hate beer. I’m sorry- I just don’t understand what the big deal is. And frankly, I think people must be lying when they say they actually enjoy it. Yes, it tastes that bad to me. The smell of red wine makes me gag. The only things I actually enjoy (truly enjoy) are some white wines- yet I still have yet to find MY wine that I can order and know I’ll always love it; and the super frilly, girly drinks that usually tend to be blue, and probably have more ice and mixers in them than actual alcohol. 

I have also noticed recently that it doesn’t matter how much I drink, if it’s just one glass of wine or 6 cocktails, I’m hungover the next day. I know a lot of people will have just one drink to take the edge off, but if it’s going to make me feel like crap the next day, what’s the point?

I’m not sure what it is exactly that I’m hoping to really get out of this. I’m kind of just using this as my soap box. I’d really like to hear what other people have to say on this subject. Family and close friends, you need not be worried about me. I am not an alcoholic, or anything even remotely close to it- this has just been something that has been on my mind a lot recently. 

NYC is going good. Not great. But really, “great” never should have been an expectation. I’m realizing now that I probably should have set my bar of “ideal” a little lower, but all in all, things are good. I’ve been wanting to show you all what my new apartment looks like, but I want to wait until my room has some actual furniture (right now all I have is a bed- on the floor and a dresser, and lots of boxes). If you’re really dying to see it- I invite you to come for a visit! ;)

Thank you dearly for taking the time to read this. Especially this post. I think this may be one of the harder posts I’ve ever written. Lots of love to you each!