This has been on my mind quite a lot lately. I’m not going to be drastic and make a claim that I’m going to stop drinking all together. Though I have thought about at least taking a month off. But the thing is, in general, I’m not a heavy drinker. So I don’t feel that by committing to taking just one month off would really do anything for me or teach me anything about whatever it is I’m needing to be taught right now.
It’s no secret that alcohol is a depressant, and I feel like the last few times I have been drunk, I end up more upset than anything by the end of the night. Often crying. I feel like that has something to do with the fact that alcohol also lowers our inhibitions and while most of the time that’s a bad thing- all it does for me is just bring the truth about everything out. I think the reason why I cry when I’m drunk is because when I do drink, I’m finally letting myself feel whatever it is that I’m actually feeling but otherwise suppress.
As a few (if not many) may already know- I have a really hard time controlling myself when it comes to drinking and texting, and as of lately, emailing. This is generally followed in the morning with a varying degree of regret. Sure, there are times when it’s just funny; but 99% of the time, I’m wishing I had listened to that little voice in my head telling me that sending that message might not be the best idea.
I feel like to really make a difference in my life, I would have to completely stop drinking for an entire year- and honestly, that doesn’t even sound possible to me, nor does it really sound like something that I’m all that interested in doing. If I were to do it, it would have to be all or nothing. It wouldn’t be “oh a drink here, a drink there” or “just drinks on special occasions, birthdays, wedding, etc.”.
What’s funny, is I don’t even really like the taste of alcohol. I absolutely hate beer. I’m sorry- I just don’t understand what the big deal is. And frankly, I think people must be lying when they say they actually enjoy it. Yes, it tastes that bad to me. The smell of red wine makes me gag. The only things I actually enjoy (truly enjoy) are some white wines- yet I still have yet to find MY wine that I can order and know I’ll always love it; and the super frilly, girly drinks that usually tend to be blue, and probably have more ice and mixers in them than actual alcohol.
I have also noticed recently that it doesn’t matter how much I drink, if it’s just one glass of wine or 6 cocktails, I’m hungover the next day. I know a lot of people will have just one drink to take the edge off, but if it’s going to make me feel like crap the next day, what’s the point?
I’m not sure what it is exactly that I’m hoping to really get out of this. I’m kind of just using this as my soap box. I’d really like to hear what other people have to say on this subject. Family and close friends, you need not be worried about me. I am not an alcoholic, or anything even remotely close to it- this has just been something that has been on my mind a lot recently.
NYC is going good. Not great. But really, “great” never should have been an expectation. I’m realizing now that I probably should have set my bar of “ideal” a little lower, but all in all, things are good. I’ve been wanting to show you all what my new apartment looks like, but I want to wait until my room has some actual furniture (right now all I have is a bed- on the floor and a dresser, and lots of boxes). If you’re really dying to see it- I invite you to come for a visit! ;)
Thank you dearly for taking the time to read this. Especially this post. I think this may be one of the harder posts I’ve ever written. Lots of love to you each!
First of all I don't think by any means you have a drinking problem, so don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way. I think you should give up drinking for a year, if not a year then maybe a couple months!! See how you feel after that time period and decide what you want to do after that! Pray about what you're going through too. God will give you direction and strength!! Love you and miss you - Sarah
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your input Sarah!
ReplyDeleteSince having written this post, I think I've had like 2 or 3 drinks- but I definitely feel like I could make a decent effort to go for a year. Like you said, if not a year, maybe just a couple of months. Maybe I'll just take it one month at a time.
I appreciate you responding Sarah!!
Abbey, I don't know what it is but I always feel hung over too. Even if it is only one drink! However, for us people who alcoholism is not a problem I think we should be able to have a drink whenever we want. And honestly, I don't think I could quit drinking for a whole year. Just keeping it in moderation and making sure it's a social thing is important. I do think your blog is great. I know I don't have near the number of people who would want to follow my life. I do think it would be cool if you could incorporate any funny stories that have happened to you or personal oppions about various matters that are in no way politicially realated. Does that give you any ideas?? Miss ya City Girl! Anne
ReplyDeleteHi Abbey,
ReplyDeleteI think the hangover just comes more easily as you get older, at least that's what I've found in my experience.
My only other thought is that if a month is too short, and a year is too long- why not choose a length of time you think would be just right? You are the only person you're doing it for, so it doesn't have to fit other people's expectations of a "significant" period of time.
I quite like not drinking. It makes the times when you chose to drink more special.
Rachel-
ReplyDeleteI like the last thing you said a lot, about how when you drink less (or not at all) it makes the times when you do drink, more special.
I think I'll really keep that in mind.
Thank you for taking the time to comment!