Unique, New York

There's been so much on my mind lately that I've been wanting to share, but have felt like I don't quite have the words for. I'm not sure if even now, I have the words for it, but I think I'm finally ready to at least try.

Social media is a beast. It can make you feel on top of the world (like on your birthday when you get 100+ notifications, messages, etc. of people wishing you a happy new year of life) and it can also make you feel like you are completely alone in this world.

I feel like there are two ends of the spectrum when it comes to what content people share online. Those that are at the bottom of a barrel who bad mouth all the people in their life who piss them off and/or are doing them wrong; and the people that project only the bits of happiness that happen in their life.

While I have respect for the former, no one likes a Debbie Downer and chances are if you are that person, you've lost a few followers. Hell, I've BEEN that Debbie before and have probably lost people. Maybe I'll loose people for the words that proceed this...
But what about those that are only projecting the happy tid bits from our lives? What is it that we're wanting other people to think of us when we post a gushing status update, check-in at a super hip restaurant or are tagged in a picture with a smile that's bigger than the sun eluding to the fact that we're just having the best. time. ever.? Are we really as happy as we're showing off?

I highly doubt I have any/many random followers on this blog that don't actually know me personally, so you probably already know that I'm a pretty blunt/honest person. Well here you have it folks, for all that may have been wondering- I'm not that happy. Please don't pity me or feel bad for me at all, that's not why I'm writing this. I'm writing this because I want to stay true to myself. I want 1) to remain honest and 2) to share openly what's going on with me in the hopes that it will resonate with someone else out there who is feeling similarly to me.

In comparison to how unhappy I was my last few months in NYC, okay sure, maybe I'm happier now. But my struggles were different then than they are now. What had me down back then (being unemployed and freezing) aren't the same as what's got me down now.
I moved to Texas because in NYC, I felt like I was at the bottom of a dirty barrel and the walls were so slimy and covered in muck that I couldn't even grip to get myself out. I recognized that my "fight or flight" instincts were kicking in and in theory, I was running away from my problems. But I also felt like I was so low, that getting myself out was not possible in NYC. I felt it was necessary to leave to be able to work on myself. I knew that I wouldn't leave my depression and any of my problems in NYC and didn't think that Texas would be instant and forever bliss, but I knew I needed to escape to start improving. I knew that moving would be hard. I knew that there would be a lonely period with very few friends. I knew that I'd get frustrated with getting lost and not knowing where I was, from time to time. I knew there would be things about NYC that I hadn't even thought of, that I'd miss when I'd least expect it. I knew I'd feel like I missed out on events and gatherings with my friends. I knew I'd miss my boyfriend. But as I expect childbirth to be, it all was a pain that I wasn't fully prepared for until I actually went through with it and let me tell you, it was harder than I expected.
*Did she really just compare moving cross country to childbirth?? Yup.*

I am so lucky that I had family here just outside of Austin who were generous enough to let me live with them for six weeks while I got my footing. I am lucky in that I had at least one friend already living here from NYC who knew first hand my struggles with leaving the city. I am lucky that I knew a friend from high school who was happy to catch up and include me in the life he'd spent the last 4+ years building in Austin. All of that aside, it was still tremendously difficult. (I wish I was more of a "glass half full" kinda girl, shit, I really do. I'm working on it. And some days, the glass is more full than empty. But as every word above is already eluding to, I'm more of a "half empty" kinda gal, unfortunately.)

Unsurprisingly, one of the hardest parts for me was being away from my boyfriend. Of course I knew going into this decision that it was NOT going to be easy. And the complete body shuttering sobs as I left him at the airport were no indication that it would be anything other than hard-as-fuck. What we failed to do as a couple embarking on a long distance relationship was discuss in detail what me moving away would do to us. We left it all up to fate and (stupidly?) agreed that we would just let it all play out the way it would and would take it day by day. It hadn't occurred to me until it was too late just how important it would be to me to have a time limit on how long we would go without seeing each other or a game plan to meet up next time.  I hadn't put thought into the fact that I was burning through my savings to pay for all the moving expenses and would not be able to afford flying back and forth to see him every other month. He had tentative plans to be in Austin for work shortly after my move and rather than firming that up or making other, more concrete plans, I went along with the push and pull of the uncertainty.

Relationships are hard enough as it is. When you throw distance into the mix, it only makes it that much harder. I left without us having a game plan of how long this distance would keep us apart. We'd discussed it briefly in the days leading up to my departure, but him being at the height of his career, it wasn't easy for him to predict where he would be and where life would take him in the next 1-3 years. I believe that there's probably no good time to be in a LDR, but I venture to guess that as you are peaking in your career and need to make sound business decisions is likely not one of the better times. As frustrated as I feel sometimes that he didn't choose me over his career or make me more of a priority, I can't fault him for it either. I admire his determination to get where and what he wants in his business.

If you haven't figured it out by now, or don't already know, our relationship did not stand the test of distance. It's been 4ish months post breakup that I initiated/asked for and it's still incredibly painful. I didn't end the relationship because I stopped loving him or started loving him any less. Quite the opposite actually. I ended it because deep down, despite loving him so much, I wasn't getting what I want from a relationship and what I feel I deserve. I don't mean to bad mouth him and hope that's not how I'm coming off because he deserves so much credit for how wonderful of a person he was and still is. For me, the hardest part of coping with this breakup has been is nothing went wrong. He didn't cheat. I didn't cheat. He didn't hit me. I didn't say mean things. He didn't stop having affection for me. I didn't stop loving him. It just came to a point where I realized that we were in different places in our lives and to continue to stay together would me great sacrifices on one persons part and we both felt that the things we stood firm on were not worth the sacrifice. Am I going to tell you the exact specifics of what broke us up? No. He and I know and a handful of my closest friends know and that's enough. I share so much of myself so openly, but I don't hate him. I'm writing this as therapy for myself and hopefully helping others, not to hurt him or air out our dirty laundry.

One thing that I really love in life is to be this open, honest person. I love sharing my life on social media and platforms such as this blog. Writing about this has been on my mind for months now and as I said when I started, I just haven't been able to find the words. J, I hope if you ever read this that you do not feel angry or frustrated with me for sharing bits of our personal lives and struggles with everyone. It's just that, I've been feeling like such shit for so long now and after doing a lot of work to get myself back to a happier place, I'm learning that what I'm feeling is not just okay, but normal. Just because I'm the one that asked for the breakup does not mean that I'm not allowed to feel sad about the situation. I am grieving the loss of a wonderful man and the best relationship I've ever had and it's ok that I'm struggling. I am human. I have feelings and am really working on honing my skills in actually feeling those feelings and not suppressing them in worry that I'm making someone else uncomfortable.

If you have any advice for me on gaining happiness, coping with a cross country move or moving on post breakup, or anything else for that matter, I would love to hear from you! If you are going through any major life changes and are struggling with the way you're feeling, I'm here for you if you want to comment/email/call/etc. If this blog reaches even one person who is struggling and feels like they aren't sure what to do with all of the emotions and crap that they're feeling, I hope my words have helped. If you're just nosey and like to know what's going on in my life, that's fine too, I like a good creeper ;)

Chat with y'all later! xo

Happy 3 year anniversary to me and NYC!

Ho. Ly. Shit.
I have lived in New York City for exactly three years (plus a few days now). Is anyone else as shocked and surprised as I am?! Not to say that I thought I'd have left by now (maybe some of you thought I would have. Ha! Joke's on you!) I just can't believe that it's already been three years.

Time has absolutely flown by. If I'm being perfectly honest, it feels more like 5 years.
Let's recap a bit and relive some of my "for better or for worse" New York City moments...

Number of neighborhoods I lived in: 5
Number of roommates I've lived with (total): 11*/12 if you count Beefcake ;)*not including the entire Brownings staff for the summer of '11 & '12
Number of jobs I've had: 4
Number of best friends I've made who have moved back home: 4 (sad face)
Number of times I've been mugged: 0 (yay! go me! not all my friends can say the same...)
Number of celebrities I've seen: 20+ (I think I'm forgetting about a few)

I know it's kind of silly, but each year, I like to do something to celebrate the anniversary. My first year, I went out with some of my teammates to 123 Burgers Shots Beers, it was all very last minute, thrown together, but a fun evening none the less. Last year, for my second anniversary, I was "living" in Southampton working for the gym. I don't even remember if I did anything, but I don't think I did. Something about not actually being in the city... it didn't feel right.
But this year, I wanted to make sure that the occasion was celebrated. And it seemed only fitting to spend it with the person who has been in on this crazy journey with me since day 1, my great friend from high school and old roommate, Alaina. About 9 months to a year before my feet landed on the streets of NYC, I called Alaina and said something like "I know in high school, you talked a lot about wanting to move to NYC... Do you think you'd still wanna do that? Yes? Great. Let's go!"

It also seemed to make the most sense to spend this day with one of the greatest friends I have had the honor of making since I moved here, and her supremely amazing husband, Tanya and Danny. Tanya and I met through "ladies who brunch" meetup and have been best friends ever since.

I asked them all to meet me in Central Park's Sheep's Meadow and that I'd be there with pizza from my favorite pizza joint and champagne. We spent the afternoon indulging in said goodies along with the fresh meats and cheeses, cheesecake and berries that my "party guests" brought with them. Before it was time to part ways, I ended up hopping on Danny's bike for my first official bike ride in NYC! (yes, I own my own bike, but I've never ridden it IN the city)
After letting all of the food settle and a quick catnap I decided to get off my lazy butt and get in a sunset run, even though I had come to terms with taking a rest day.

And I'm so happy I did. It ended up being a beautiful run and I got to explore new areas of Riverside Park that I'd never been to before!

All in all I'd say that my 3rd NYC anniversary was a success.
Thank you to everyone that I've met here who have helped write a piece of each page of this crazy story. I've been told that NYC has a notorious "three year itch" so I'm eager to see what the next year brings along and what will happen for me in the next three years.

Pssssst! Did you notice that my blog got a little face lift? It's still currently under construction, but will become more and more solidified in the coming year. I now have TABS! You can browse through even more parts of my life by clicking on each of them. Definitely take a look at the "health coach" tab in the near future as that tab will surely see some significant growth :D

You ain't all that NYC!

So sad, but so true....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-brennan-rosenberg/10-reasons-nyc-isnt-as-gr_b_3028111.html

10 Reasons NYC Isn't as Great as You Think It Is via The Huffington Post

March Goals

Posting my goals for February had a significant impact on me. I did a lot of what I laid out for myself and had such a huge sense of accomplishment when the month ended. I will continue to post my monthly goals for the foreseeable future.

March 2013

• Eat sweets (in general, not just the S&S peaches) at work no more than 2 times/week
• Finish the NYC ½ marathon with a smile on my face :D
• Foam roll at least once/week
• Try at least 2 brand new recipes for dinner
• Finish editing and print cruise pictures
• Go to at least one “NYC only” restaurant that I’ve never been to before
• Go to the public library
• Go to yoga at least once (I was not so good at this for Feb. and I hate yoga in general, but I know it’s good for me-   so I’m trying….)
• Go to spin at least once
• Add vegetables to my meals at least twice/day

Thank you to everyone that continues to read about my silly life. I love the encouragement that you give me! Do you have any goals you wish to achieve during the month of March?!

February in review

February 2013: Results

• Run at least 75 miles This did not work out as planned, but only because I got bronchitis the last week of Feb :( I ended up completing 67.42 miles. Had I completed all of the runs I had mapped out for myself, I would have ended up over my goal. This really bummed me out, but I guess it's better that I get sick now, than the week before the race!

• Go to yoga at least twice Nope! Didn't even go once :(
• Take my scheduled cross training days seriously: actually do a full set of weights Frankly, I do not do well with creating my own workouts. I love working out, but I love it more when someone else is telling me what to do. I still did cross training about 2 days/week, I just know I didn't workout to my full abilities, for a number of different excuses: my gym is always packed and mostly full of men who stare at me (I'm also usually the only white/blond woman/person in my gym); I love cardio and have a hard time jumping off the machines to move on to the weights; etc. etc. etc....
• Eat sweet & sour candy peaches from work no more than twice/week I did alright with this, except for the week of Valentine’s Day… there was ridiculous amount of treats in the office and once I start, I can’t stop!

• Bring (healthy) lunch to work at least 4 times/week This is something I was already doing, but I wanted to make sure I stuck with it, and I did!! There were a couple of days that I just stuffed my face with unhealthy snacks from our kitchen, but I would say for the most part, I did well with this and will continue to do so :)

• Get checked for skin cancer This is something I’ve had on my mental to-do list for a very long time. I love the sun, and I love going tanning. Yes, I am aware of how bad this is for me. No, I do not plan to change my tanning ways anytime soon. (sorry I'm not sorry) Thankfully, my skin checked out good! I do plan to continue going back once a year to get checked.

• Hold at least a 1 minute plank no less than twice/week I actually did better with this than I anticipated! If I'm being honest, I probably only averaged once/week; but I did notice them getting slightly easier by the end of the month. But I put a huge emphasis on "slightly"...
• Go to at least 1 spin class CHECK!!! Not only that, but it was theeeeeee best spin class I have EVER taken! Come back in a few days to read my review of this amazing class!
• Find someone to run at least 1/2 of my long runs with me I didn't even bother asking anyone (other than my friend Rachael, who is running the half marathon with me). Last year, I needed the help towards the end of my training. This year? Not so much! I'm trying my hardest, to run in new areas of the city that I've never been to before, which is really keeping me entertained throughout my runs :)
• Do at least 1 thing I could only do in NYC CHECK!! I went to the Museum of the City of New York! It wasn’t the best museum I’ve ever been to. I also didn’t realize that there was a 3rd floor and ended up having to rush through it because I had somewhere to be. I think I’ll go back sometime, to see if the exhibits change, and to look longer on the 3rd floor.

I really enjoyed doing this for myself and would like to continue to keep posting my goals for each month. I mean, who says that goals should only be something we have January 1st?! That being said, check back March 1st, for a new list of goals I've set for myself.

*** Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this blog lately. It's definitely keeping me inspired to write and post more often! ***

 

NYC dating anecdotes 1

I'm going to go out on a limb here and talk about something I haven't done (this publically) before... Take it for what you will, and enjoy the trials and tid bits from my dating life....

So I went on an OKcupid date (as all of my dates are these days) some time ago with John (name has been changed).
I messaged the him first.
Our messages were just so-so. Nothing too exciting.

Then John asked me if I wanted to go to a movie for our first date. Ugh. Why do guys do this? What makes them think that I would want to sit in a dark theater with them if we've never met before??

I never that was excited to meet him. So that can't be a good sign... But then as I was thinking as I was walking to the restaurant, maybe I've just gone on too many damn OKCupid dates, that go nowhere to get nervous at this point?

John picked a restaurant in the Village. I was excited and irritated at the same time by this because I had to be up so early the next morning (which we had discussed), but rarely go down to that part of the city so I was looking forward to exploring a new spot.

John more or less ordered for the both of us which, kind of annoyed me. Also because he asked me what looked good, I gave him my opinion, and then he ordered something completely different. He ordered veggies... which I'm not a fan of and never would have ordered, but they ended up being tasty, so OK, I'll cut him some slack there.

To drink, he ordered four of what the restaurant called the "Recession Special"- a PBR, a shot of whisky with a pickle back. By the end of the night, he was visibly tipsy. I had 3 glasses of prosecco, so I wasn't exactly Sober Sally, but not near on his level.

Our banter was witty and rarely left much of a pause in between subjects... until the end of the night when it felt like we had asked all of the questions there was to ask.

I was looking forward to going home.
Then I find out, he's riding the same train as me... almost the entire way. Ugh.

As we waited on the platform for the train, I stood with my arms crossed... my typical/comfortable stance and he told me I should stop doing that because it made me look very closed off. Ouch.

Then when we were on the train, I twirled my hair and John asked if I always do that... I asked if I had done it a lot throughout the night, and he said yes. The way he asked made it seem like it annoyed him. Um, sorry?

I was shocked when the next day, and days following he continued to text me, asking when we could see each other again. As I'm sure you can tell from the above story, I wasn't really feeling it, so needless to say, I never did see him again.

Goals (continued)

As promised, here is a list of the goals I have set for myself for the next month. I will do an update after the month is over to let you know how I did (and to keep myself accountable)!

February 2013

• Run at least 75 miles
• Go to yoga at least twice
• Take my scheduled cross training days seriously: actually do a full set of weights
• Eat sweet & sour candy peaches from work no more than twice/week
• Bring (healthy) lunch to work at least 4 times/week
• Get checked for skin cancer
• Hold at least a 1 minute plank no less than twice/week
• Go to at least 1 spin class
• Find someone to run at least 1/2 of my long runs with me
• Do at least 1 thing I could only do in NYC

So there you have it folks! Some of these things have already been mapped out for me to do for a while now, or I've already been doing them, I just want to make sure that I keep up with them. I'm a very competitive person, and hold myself at a higher standard than probably anyone else does- so I'm really hoping that by having this in writing, and ONLINE, I'll actually stick to it!

Tough times

I swear some post, way-back-when, I posted about all of the "shit New Yorkers" would say to me as a blunt "welcome to New York"... I looked briefly through old posts, but couldn't find it. Doesn't really matter, I was mainly looking for it as a reference to preface this post.
I haven't posted here in over 6 months.
No one seems to have really noticed, so I stopped caring myself.
I started blogging for Cheer NY, and was focusing more on my photography blog (which I recommend checking out if you haven't already). Anyway, you know the story... Life gets in the way, you get busy, you find other things to do to preoccupy your time. My story is no different.
Wanna know what I've been up to?
I've been learning life lessons the hard way. By making mistakes and learning how to never make them again. I've been living the life of what is said to be a typical New Yorker.

1. I've lived in 3 of the 5 borough's (Brooklyn, Queens, and now Manhattan)
2. I've "summered" in Southampton
3. I've seen subway rats
4. I've seen cockroaches the size of my thumbs
5. I have had and experience bed bugs
6. I've sublet my room to a foreigner 

And wait... here's the best one yet....

    7. I'm currently being kicked out/evicted of my apartment. 

I always used to say that apartment hunting was so fun. You got to see what your money can get you (and what it can't); you can see the difference between a skeezy broker vs. a broker with a heart and what a difference it makes; seeing all these different apartments and fantasizing about what your life could be like in these homes is all part of the "fun" right? Wrong. Maybe that's right when you're not under pressure to get out of your home as quickly as possible. But dealing with a bi-polar, lying landlord; running all over the city viewing up to 10 different apartments a day; trying to coordinate erratic schedules with roommates; dealing with agents who decide not to tell you until 2 weeks into the process that you've applied for a co-op and may not get an answer for another 4 weeks... let me tell you, I'm not only not having fun; I'm exhausted.

In the fantasy that plays out in my head, some girl let's say, in the mid-west somewhere has stumbled upon my blog and decides to regularly check back to see if I've posted anything recently so she can help better prepare herself for her big move out East where she'll follow her dreams, yadah, yadah, yadah.... So mystery/make believe girl... this one's for you. Here's my advise from one new New Yorker to another...

• You came here for a reason. Don't forget what that reason is, or let NYC scare you into thinking you don't actually belong here. You do. 
• That reason above that you decided to come out here for? People are telling you it's stupid, right? Telling you that you can't do it, that you won't make it, you'll never find a place to live, never find a job that pays you enough to cover the bills? They're liars. In fact, they're probably just jealous of you for having the guts to do something they didn't. You failing will only give them satisfaction. Let this light your fire. Keep your head up. One day, you'll be able to smile at them and say, "I made it".
• If you're lucky enough to have a friend or family who are willing to let you crash with them while you find the perfect job/apartment; don't feel bad for taking them up on this; but don't take advantage of them. Everyone deserves a chance, don't waste yours by being a rude house guest. Remember this, because some number of months or years down the road, the roles will be reversed and someone will be calling upon you for the same favor.
• You hear real estate goes fast here? Eh, it does... but only if you're not prepared to hand over all of your documents, certified checks, and energy the moment you find a place that feels right. Do not drag your feet. THAT is how you loose the apartment of your dreams. 
• You think you're prepared to spend XYZ number of dollars on rent per month? Do yourself a favor, add about $200/month to that. You'll be glad you did. You'll also have now set a standard for yourself of what is an acceptable place of residence. If you find a great pad for cheaper, great, now go buy yourself a pair of shoes. 
• If you find yourself in a living situation that seems too good to be true, it probably is. Do not move into a place without signing a legal lease with the landlord prior to your moving in. 
• Do not move in with a roommate that you've only met via Skype. A roommate interview is not unlike a job interview... anyone can make themselves look good on paper. Ask them serious logistic questions about their living styles and what it's like to actually live with them. You're both on your own here, you don't want to be stuck cleaning up after them, turning off lights everywhere you go, being the only one who takes the trash out, living on opposite sleep schedules. If you're a  morning person, don't waste your time moving in with someone who is a professed night owl and think it won't bother you. 
• Find friends outside of work. Not that your co-workers can't or won't be cool, but it's important to live a balanced life. Get on Meetup.com, join a running group, take a class, something. Anything. 
• Keep new said friends at a distance until you've really gotten to know them and know that you can trust them. NYC is an "every man for himself" kinda place... you'd be surprised at the number of people you thought were friends who are willing to step on you to get ahead. 
• When you do find a solid group of friends (or friend. Singular): hold onto them tight, but know that their time in NYC might come to an end before yours does. Don't let this get you down, now you know someone you can visit in another state! 
• Find work that will make you happy. There are an infinite number of things you can do to make money in this city. There is no sense in sticking with something simply for the fact that it's keeping you employed with your head above water. Even if you came here with the dream of doing job A, don't be surprised if you end up trying jobs B, C and D before landing and loving job E. 
• Things are expensive here. There's not a more simple way of putting it. That $5 cocktail you're getting from your neighborhood dive bar back home, it's going to cost you $15 here. Things also come in smaller packages, but for the same price, if not higher. They know you need it, and they know you'll pay for it, so you might as well get used to it. 

These are just a few of the things that life has taught me recently. I'm sure another curve ball is just around the corner. And you know what? I'm standing here with my bat up ready to swing. I never thought living here was going to be easy. I had no idea just how hard it would be, but every time I get knocked down and get back up again, I grow a little bit stronger. 

Reunions!

I don't know if this is a secret that no one ever told me about.... but apparently spring time means visitors!

Back in 2009 when I had made the decision to move here, I contacted an old Cheer Ltd. friend, Aisha to let her know that I was moving to NYC as she had been living in the area her entire life. She would more or less be the only person I knew in the area when I moved here. Well as time went on and life happened, we never were able to coordinate getting together when I got here. It wasn't until a year and a half after having lived here that we finally got together! Aisha recently became engaged to a really great guy, Matt, and I could not have been more flattered or honored when they asked me to shoot their engagement photos!

I would really love to share a few with you, but I'm in the process of editing them right now and A&M haven't even had a chance to see them yet... so I need to reserve the first view for their eyes :)

Since A&M's engagement session would be not only the first one that I've shot in a while, but the first one I've shot in NYC... so I needed some reenforcement, I needed to find an assistant!
Unfortunately, all of my photo buddies in NYC were busy that weekend. But very luckily another friend from way back when lives only a couple of states away and is just starting to get into photography.

Mallory and I met in Jr. high and have stayed in touch ever since. She just recently started taking a photography class and I've seen her grow a lot as a budding photographer. I was so happy when I contacted her asking if she would come up from D.C. to assist me on this shoot and she said "yes"!
Just days before Mallory came into down, I had breakfast with another high school friend who lives here, Anna. If you are a loyal follower, you might remember me talking about Anna and Marcos from when I first got to NYC. They were nice enough to let Emily and I stay with them for the first week while we found jobs, our apartment, and our way around the city. Anna, Mallory, and I all went to high school together so Anna and I agreed that when Mallory got into town we'd all have to get together again.
It was so fun catching up with them and listening to all the things we have done and gone through the last 10+ years when we were all together last.... marriages, moves, buying homes, and babies on the way!

Isn't Anna the most adorable preggers you've ever seen!? I cannot wait until May when Anna, Marcos and I will be doing a maternity shoot!

In about 2.5 weeks, my good friend Amber will be coming to visit for a few days. Amber and I met while coaching CHS cheerleading in Portland.

We're going to have a blast shooting her trash the dress and hopefully get in some stunting as well :)

In the middle of April, my mom will be coming to visit me in NYC for the very first time ever!

I'll be running my first 1/2 marathon and I'm so excited that she's going to be there cheering me on at the finish line!

At the end of April, my Major BFF, Amber (different Amber) will be coming to stay with me for a whole week!!!! I haven't seen her since 2008!!!!

I can't wait to have her here and do all the silly, girly touristy stuff with her!

As staying in NYC forever was never really my plan, I encourage all of you to come visit me soon... Spring, winter, fall or summer! I don't know exactly how long I'll be here, or have a plan of leaving, I just know it will happen someday. I'd love to see you before that day comes!

20 pounds... gone!

Since I've started running, there have been times where I think to myself, "why am I doing this??".
My roommates tell me all the time that they think I'm crazy for running.
Shortly after I started really making a commitment to running (back in April '11) I discovered an app for my phone (RunKeeper, for those that are interested to know) that would track my runs. It would give me my stats for time, distance, pace, and loads of other interesting information.
I started posting my stats on my Facebook because, I felt like maybe if I put it out there in public, it would help keep me accountable to stick with it.


I really never thought that the feedback I would get from friends would be what kept me going.
I can't even begin to tell you the overwhelming response I've gotten from people who email me or tell me I'm inspiring them. Even my friends who are already runners, or into working out are telling me that my posts, and pictures make them want to get out and get moving.
It just goes to show you, that you just never know how what you do, or what you say will effect others.
A huge thank you to anyone and everyone who has ever emailed me, commented on a photo of mine, or told me in person that I've inspired you in some way. Please keep them coming... they inspire ME and keep me motivated to keep doing what I'm doing.


That also brings me to the other thing that has been keeping me motivated lately....

These are screen shots from a video I had taken just after moving to NYC. I was going through my phone the other day to delete old photos when I came across this. I was appalled. How did I ever let myself get this out of hand?! I look swollen! If you remember the BLOG POST I did in August about my weight loss, you may remember this shot: 

This is from just a couple of days before I moved to NYC. Oye.


Please don't ask me how it's possible that I didn't get motivated until the following spring before I decided to take action...

Slowly... getting.. there...

Finally starting to see progress...

And here I am today!! Finally, my hard work is proving to pay off!


I've lost almost 20 pounds since August 2010! Can you believe it?! These pictures are such a great reminder for me of where I was, to where I am now. I feel really lucky that I actually enjoy running- I know it's not enjoyable for a lot of people; but I firmly believe if you can force yourself to do it, and constantly remind yourself why you're doing it, it becomes addicting. 


You may start to see some changes in my blog in the future... I'm still on the fence about where I want this "publication" to go. I already have another blog dedicated to my photography, so if that's what you're after, I suggest you check that one out HERE. I'm considering making this blog more health/fitness/food related; but I would really love to hear from YOU about what you'd like to hear about. Would you enjoy reading a more healthful related blog? More NYC experiences? 
Tell me in comments below!


Thank you, as always for taking the time to read about me, my life, and my struggles and successes. I appreciate each and every one of you!

2011 in Review

I wanted to do something a little different than last year. I feel like the majority of you are all friends with me on facebook, so I didn't want to bore you with loads of pictures you've already seen (though, please forgive if there is a repeat or two). Instead, I want to give out one last thank you from 2011 for all the great things I've been blessed to have added to my life this past year....

New Roommates

The most amazing cheerleading team, ever.

1 year anniversary of living in NYC

Fabulous new friends for life

Even more fabulous new life long friends.

The strength and will power to maintain a healthier body

A new found love for running

I'm not sure I'm all that fond of the term "resolutions"; because I feel like, if you don't accomplish them, it sounds like a much bigger disappointment or let down.

So instead Im going to share my goals with you for the future that I will start in 2012:

- eat pasta once a week

- eat fish once a week

- exercise (weights) at least 3 times/week and no more than 5 times/week 

- run at least 3 times/week

- stretch 4 times/week 

- eat 3 banana's/week
- write 1 hand written letter/week

I realize that they are all health/food related, but I'm at a point in my life right now where that is my main focus. I have even decided to put my photography on the back burner a little bit. I'm feeling very burnt out with it, and just don't have the same passion I had for it at one time. I'm hoping a break, and some time to gather some funds to buy updated equipment will help give me back that fire I once had for it.

I hope your 2012 is off to a great start so far! Have you made any goals or resolutions?

NEW, New York City

I know it’s been a minute since I’ve written anything. To those of you who actually read this, I’m sorry. However I haven’t heard any requests to post anything new, so I don’t think anyone is too devastated that I haven’t posted in four months. 

I started this blog because I was about to embark on this brand new, big huge, journey. I thought, maybe someone out there will be interested enough to follow me? Well now that I’ve “arrived” at my “destination”, and have been living here for close to a year, it’s all starting to seem less and less exciting. I mean no insult to NYC. This place is still packed full of excitement, surprise, and new things daily. But everything is becoming so routine now. Anything that was new and shocking 9 months ago is just life now. 

I will do my best to recap what has happened the last four months, and try keep it somewhat interesting for you-

Two major things have happened since I’ve posted last. 

First, I have moved out of my apartment in Brooklyn and am now living in Queens. Living with 5 people who all had very different personalities and living styles was just not working out for me. Many times, I considered sticking it out to the end of the lease. But after too many sleepless nights due to completely different sleep schedules; and picking up after others one too many times, I realized it was time for me to make a move. I found my new roommates on Craigslist and loved them right away. The only thing that I didn’t love right off the bat (and still don’t love, though am starting to get used to) is that I now live close to a mile away from the subway. I was spoiled my first 9 months in Brooklyn living only 1/2 block away from the subway. I try to remind myself every time I make the “trek” that it’s good exercise. But somedays, I really miss the ease of being closer. I’m not looking forward to the winter- but I’m sure I’ll get used to that as well. 

I am in love with my neighborhood, my apartment, and my roommates. I live with two guys in their late 20s, early 30s, both optometrists. One has lived in the apartment for 8 years, the other for 5 years.

*To answer the most common questions: No they are not a couple, and are both straight. 

I have a good sized room, a CLOSET! (this is very exciting) and my own bathroom!!! <- I don’t think a girl could ask for anything better!

The other “big news” I should share is that I have a new job! For a girl who could absolutely care less about comic books, it was only a matter of time before I gave up on that place. It was hard for me to get out of bed everyday and drag myself there. I was really unhappy, and was barely scrapping by with the pay check. I knew I wanted to work in the health & fitness industry because on the tiny paycheck I was getting, and the high price of gym memberships in this city- I knew it would be the only way I could get into a gym (most gyms offer free memberships to their employees). I now work front desk for a private training gym, Brownings Fitness. The job is 100 times better than anything I could have asked for. Not only do I get to use the gym for free whenever I want, but I am also able to make use of the trainers as often as I would like, I get a discounted subway card, and health insurance. On top of all of that, we have a location in Southampton and I am asked to go out there for about two weeks at a time to "work". I use that word loosely because while I do work every single day I am out there, the shifts are short and the days either start or end with me on a beach. 

I am extremely grateful for the changes in my life the last 3+ months. I don't feel like I have been this happy in a really long time. I feel very fortunate to be living the life that I do. I also can't thank Brownings enough for introducing me to so many amazing people...

These new coworkers, and now friends are what get me though each day. I honestly don't think I could do it without them.

So I do believe a big thank you is in order for Craigslist for helping me find not only perfect roommates, but a wonderful job, that has led me to friends that I'm sure will be around for a long time...

I can't wait to see what the next four months have in store for me...

And I promise, I'll try not to leave you all hanging quite so long!

Subway music

I don't think a single day has gone by where I haven't heard music in some form or fashion on the streets and subways of New York. 

I would venture to say, that, more often than not- it's more painful, than beautiful.

But a couple of times now, I feel really blessed to be in the right place, at the right time... and my ears get a little treat.

This was one of those times.

At first, I was not all that impressed by this guy. But then he started singing, and then I noticed he's 1) singing 2) playing the harmonica 3) playing the "drum" (or in this case a suitcase) 4) playing the tambourine, 5) playing the banjo...  all at the same time. 

All growing up my mom was really into bluegrass music; and I hated it. But at some point, it grew on me, and I can really enjoy it from time to time. 

I can't begin to tell you how much I was entertained by this guy. I almost feel bad for you, because this clip doesn't even do him justice.

I hope you can enjoy the little taste that I can give you!

My First Thanksgiving

This year was the first time I've ever cooked my own Thanksgiving!
Of course, after high school, there was a Thanksgiving or two that I didn't go home; but I would always just go over to someone else's house and eat all of their food... So this year was a pretty big deal for me.
Since all of my roommates and I are all from the west coast, it just made the most sense for us to all stay in Brooklyn for the holiday. As soon as we realized that we would all be home, we got to planning our menu:

• Turkey 
• stuffing
• mashed potatoes
• green bean casserole
• sweet potatoes
• sweet potato fries
• cranberry sauce
• gravy
• rolls
• pumpkin curry soup
• lemon meringue pie
• peanut butter chocolate pie
• yam pie
• And of course... beer, wine, mimosa's ;)

I have a long standing tradition in my family of always doing the mashed potatoes, so I was delighted when my roommates said they'd let me make them for us!

Every year, one of my favorite things to do is get up early, and watch the Macy's parade on TV. Now that I'm living here, I really wanted to take advantage of being able to finally going to watch the parade live in person. I had heard that the night before the parade, you can go walk the parade route and watch them blow up the balloons, so of course I immediately put that on my "must-do" list. 

As it has, many times in the past, NYC likes to put me in my place and laugh at me just a little bit...

I got off my subway stop around 7:15pm, it wasn't until almost 8pm that I finally made it out of the subway station, and onto the street. Apparently I'm not the only one who thought it would be fun to go check out the balloons.

Once I finally got out to the street, and just around the corner of the Museum of Natural History, I finally got my first glance of the balloons!

I finally made my way through the mass of people to 77th street and Central Park West to walk down the route to see the balloons up close and personal!

I started walking down Columbus towards 71st street but there were so many people, it literally took me 40 minutes to walk from 77th to 76th, and across Columbus, so I decided I had seen enough. It would probably be better if I just went home. I was originally planning on going back in the morning to catch the actual parade, but after that fiasco- I decided that maybe the parade was better left a TV tradition. 

As soon as I got home, I started making my pie, and rolls!

After cooking until 3am, it was time for bed. After all, we were planning on getting up at 7:30am to put the turkey in the oven! 

My roommates Lois, Alaina, and I all got up and got to cooking and last minute shopping right away!

Before we knew it, it was noon, and our house was filled with lovely people, and beautiful music!

I have the most talented friends and roommates!

Finally around 4pm we were finished cooking and got to eat our feast!

It was so fun collaborating with all of my roommates each cooking different dishes. 

Emily's pumpkin curry soup with roasted sunflower seeds:

 Allen's green bean casserole: 

We had a few minor setbacks including accidently turning off the oven at one point, burning the sweet potato fries, and blowing up a stick of butter in the microwave... oops. 

Our turkey was honestly one of the most delicious I've ever had- ever!

All in all, it was a really wonderful first Thanksgiving experience. I couldn't have asked for anything better. 

A huge thank you to all of my roommates, and Brian, Chris, Marcus, Cecil, and Cherie- without you guys, this day never would have been the same!

Internship

What a whirlwind the last 2 months have been!

I can’t believe that that’s all it’s been since I’ve moved here! There is always so much to see and do, I feel like it’s already been 6 months!

One of the greatest things I’ve been lucky enough to experience is my fabulous internship! As you may remember, before I even got here, I had high hopes of finding a female photographer to intern/assist with. Mostly because this industry is mainly powered by men, I really wanted to work with another female to see how SHE does it, and to help keep me motivated if ever a man tries to take me down! I definitely set out to  find an internship with a fashion photographer since that is the area I’d like to specialize in, but I also know that I have SO  much to learn, and that working with a pro photographer in any area would really help me. Back at the end of August, I spent hours and hours on Craigslist looking for job and internship opportunities. When I interviewed with Jill Lotenberg of Jill Photography, she explained to me that the majority of her business nowadays is commercial, and head shots. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I knew I needed to start somewhere! This was only the second interview I had been on since having moved to the city, and she pretty much hired me on the spot!

The first shoot I went with her on was to photograph the founder and CEO of Jump Apparel Group, Glenn Schlossberg. Jump is celebrating their 20th anniversary and Jill was hired to photograph him as well as some behind the scenes shots for the front cover of Fashion Manuscript Nove/Dec 2010 issue. It was really exciting for me because the moment we stepped off the elevator and I saw logo on the wall, I knew I’d heard of Jump before! It took me a second, but I definitely wore a Jump dress to a winter formal, or some sort of formal dance when I was in Jr. high or high school. 

Here's the cover!:

Look! That's the inside of the magazine with MY name in print!!!:

A few weeks after I assisted on that shoot, Jill asked me to assist her while she shot THIS!!:

Now, I’m no Top Chef fanatic, but I knew this was pretty cool. I was also really excited because she told me I could invite anyone I wanted. That same week, a friend of mine from high school, Shaun, was in town visiting so I invited him as well as all of my roommates. It was just one of those lucky nights when a bunch of them were all off and three of them were able to come along! It was such a lovely evening, and I must admit, that I think we all had a moment or two that night when we thought to ourselves, “I can’t believe this is my life, I’m so lucky”.

(left to right: Marcus, Lois, Shaun, Alaina, Emily, me)

Shortly after that event, Jill asked me if I would be available to go with her on an overnight trip to Boston for a shoot. When I got her text message, I stopped dead in my tracks and could feel myself grinning from ear to ear. Not to toot my own horn, but I am well aware that this was not something that she was offering to her other interns- it really hit me then, that I might actually be doing a really good job. I had never been to Boston and of course wanted to jump at this opportunity! Not only that, but she also informed me that this would be a paid trip! As if I really needed to be convinced even more!?

I really feel so lucky to have this opportunity and still sometimes can’t believe how this sort of just fell into my lap. As far as how long I’ll be working for Jill, I’m really not sure. I believe I’ll be done in or around January sometime. But I am fairly confident that this internship is only going to lead to bigger and better things. I hope to do a recap in a couple of months when all is said and done.

Below, enjoy some photos of the different locations we’ve been so lucky to shoot in!

Chef Marcus during the cooking demonstration at 5th on the Park:

On location in Queens: 

Last week we went back to 5th on the Park to get some shots of the building. This is the view around 6PM from the 25th floor overlooking Manhattan. Off in the distance, you can see the Empire State building: 

Atop a Brooklyn condo, shot by Jill:

Workin' hard for the boss lady: 

Downtown Brooklyn in the background, me, Allie, Clair (other interns) and Jill, far right: 

Update: My computer is (obviously) back up and running. It was extremely frustrating however to not have my computer for almost 2 weeks. Though I have to give my roommate Alaina a HUG thank you for letting me borrow her computer almost every day while she was at work!! If this has taught me anything it’s, BACK UP!! Sometimes computers just crash, and there are no warning signs. It’s a good thing I love what I do, other wise I don’t know if I’d be able to put up with the amount of money it costs to keep this going. 

I hope you are having a lovely day!

Until next time.....

A