Unique, New York

There's been so much on my mind lately that I've been wanting to share, but have felt like I don't quite have the words for. I'm not sure if even now, I have the words for it, but I think I'm finally ready to at least try.

Social media is a beast. It can make you feel on top of the world (like on your birthday when you get 100+ notifications, messages, etc. of people wishing you a happy new year of life) and it can also make you feel like you are completely alone in this world.

I feel like there are two ends of the spectrum when it comes to what content people share online. Those that are at the bottom of a barrel who bad mouth all the people in their life who piss them off and/or are doing them wrong; and the people that project only the bits of happiness that happen in their life.

While I have respect for the former, no one likes a Debbie Downer and chances are if you are that person, you've lost a few followers. Hell, I've BEEN that Debbie before and have probably lost people. Maybe I'll loose people for the words that proceed this...
But what about those that are only projecting the happy tid bits from our lives? What is it that we're wanting other people to think of us when we post a gushing status update, check-in at a super hip restaurant or are tagged in a picture with a smile that's bigger than the sun eluding to the fact that we're just having the best. time. ever.? Are we really as happy as we're showing off?

I highly doubt I have any/many random followers on this blog that don't actually know me personally, so you probably already know that I'm a pretty blunt/honest person. Well here you have it folks, for all that may have been wondering- I'm not that happy. Please don't pity me or feel bad for me at all, that's not why I'm writing this. I'm writing this because I want to stay true to myself. I want 1) to remain honest and 2) to share openly what's going on with me in the hopes that it will resonate with someone else out there who is feeling similarly to me.

In comparison to how unhappy I was my last few months in NYC, okay sure, maybe I'm happier now. But my struggles were different then than they are now. What had me down back then (being unemployed and freezing) aren't the same as what's got me down now.
I moved to Texas because in NYC, I felt like I was at the bottom of a dirty barrel and the walls were so slimy and covered in muck that I couldn't even grip to get myself out. I recognized that my "fight or flight" instincts were kicking in and in theory, I was running away from my problems. But I also felt like I was so low, that getting myself out was not possible in NYC. I felt it was necessary to leave to be able to work on myself. I knew that I wouldn't leave my depression and any of my problems in NYC and didn't think that Texas would be instant and forever bliss, but I knew I needed to escape to start improving. I knew that moving would be hard. I knew that there would be a lonely period with very few friends. I knew that I'd get frustrated with getting lost and not knowing where I was, from time to time. I knew there would be things about NYC that I hadn't even thought of, that I'd miss when I'd least expect it. I knew I'd feel like I missed out on events and gatherings with my friends. I knew I'd miss my boyfriend. But as I expect childbirth to be, it all was a pain that I wasn't fully prepared for until I actually went through with it and let me tell you, it was harder than I expected.
*Did she really just compare moving cross country to childbirth?? Yup.*

I am so lucky that I had family here just outside of Austin who were generous enough to let me live with them for six weeks while I got my footing. I am lucky in that I had at least one friend already living here from NYC who knew first hand my struggles with leaving the city. I am lucky that I knew a friend from high school who was happy to catch up and include me in the life he'd spent the last 4+ years building in Austin. All of that aside, it was still tremendously difficult. (I wish I was more of a "glass half full" kinda girl, shit, I really do. I'm working on it. And some days, the glass is more full than empty. But as every word above is already eluding to, I'm more of a "half empty" kinda gal, unfortunately.)

Unsurprisingly, one of the hardest parts for me was being away from my boyfriend. Of course I knew going into this decision that it was NOT going to be easy. And the complete body shuttering sobs as I left him at the airport were no indication that it would be anything other than hard-as-fuck. What we failed to do as a couple embarking on a long distance relationship was discuss in detail what me moving away would do to us. We left it all up to fate and (stupidly?) agreed that we would just let it all play out the way it would and would take it day by day. It hadn't occurred to me until it was too late just how important it would be to me to have a time limit on how long we would go without seeing each other or a game plan to meet up next time.  I hadn't put thought into the fact that I was burning through my savings to pay for all the moving expenses and would not be able to afford flying back and forth to see him every other month. He had tentative plans to be in Austin for work shortly after my move and rather than firming that up or making other, more concrete plans, I went along with the push and pull of the uncertainty.

Relationships are hard enough as it is. When you throw distance into the mix, it only makes it that much harder. I left without us having a game plan of how long this distance would keep us apart. We'd discussed it briefly in the days leading up to my departure, but him being at the height of his career, it wasn't easy for him to predict where he would be and where life would take him in the next 1-3 years. I believe that there's probably no good time to be in a LDR, but I venture to guess that as you are peaking in your career and need to make sound business decisions is likely not one of the better times. As frustrated as I feel sometimes that he didn't choose me over his career or make me more of a priority, I can't fault him for it either. I admire his determination to get where and what he wants in his business.

If you haven't figured it out by now, or don't already know, our relationship did not stand the test of distance. It's been 4ish months post breakup that I initiated/asked for and it's still incredibly painful. I didn't end the relationship because I stopped loving him or started loving him any less. Quite the opposite actually. I ended it because deep down, despite loving him so much, I wasn't getting what I want from a relationship and what I feel I deserve. I don't mean to bad mouth him and hope that's not how I'm coming off because he deserves so much credit for how wonderful of a person he was and still is. For me, the hardest part of coping with this breakup has been is nothing went wrong. He didn't cheat. I didn't cheat. He didn't hit me. I didn't say mean things. He didn't stop having affection for me. I didn't stop loving him. It just came to a point where I realized that we were in different places in our lives and to continue to stay together would me great sacrifices on one persons part and we both felt that the things we stood firm on were not worth the sacrifice. Am I going to tell you the exact specifics of what broke us up? No. He and I know and a handful of my closest friends know and that's enough. I share so much of myself so openly, but I don't hate him. I'm writing this as therapy for myself and hopefully helping others, not to hurt him or air out our dirty laundry.

One thing that I really love in life is to be this open, honest person. I love sharing my life on social media and platforms such as this blog. Writing about this has been on my mind for months now and as I said when I started, I just haven't been able to find the words. J, I hope if you ever read this that you do not feel angry or frustrated with me for sharing bits of our personal lives and struggles with everyone. It's just that, I've been feeling like such shit for so long now and after doing a lot of work to get myself back to a happier place, I'm learning that what I'm feeling is not just okay, but normal. Just because I'm the one that asked for the breakup does not mean that I'm not allowed to feel sad about the situation. I am grieving the loss of a wonderful man and the best relationship I've ever had and it's ok that I'm struggling. I am human. I have feelings and am really working on honing my skills in actually feeling those feelings and not suppressing them in worry that I'm making someone else uncomfortable.

If you have any advice for me on gaining happiness, coping with a cross country move or moving on post breakup, or anything else for that matter, I would love to hear from you! If you are going through any major life changes and are struggling with the way you're feeling, I'm here for you if you want to comment/email/call/etc. If this blog reaches even one person who is struggling and feels like they aren't sure what to do with all of the emotions and crap that they're feeling, I hope my words have helped. If you're just nosey and like to know what's going on in my life, that's fine too, I like a good creeper ;)

Chat with y'all later! xo

Stumbles and the City

I'm still off online dating, and I'm still a hermit... so while these dating antidotes may be far and few in between, I'll try to humor you any chance I get.

So let me tell you a little bit about my Saturday night....

If you know me but at all, you know that 2 drinks and I'm buzzed 4 drinks and I'm officially drunk anything past that and you can almost count on me not remembering half the night (oh the joys of getting older and more responsible). So it should come to no surprise to you that after two bottles of champange (yes, bottles) 1 jello shot, 1 vodka/soda (maybe two- that's still a little fuzzy) and one other shot that I really don't remember taking though there is photographic evidence of- I'm pretty lit gone. Now, in my defense, all of this was consumed within a matter of 8 hours, but none the less down and down it went.

By the time everything was starting to come to an end, I was nowhere near my house and had no desire to make the drunken trek home. So I texted a friend that lived near where I was and asked if I could spend the night- thankfully, they agreed. But as soon as I made my slumber party plans, an equally drunk genius friend I was with decided we should try to get into the club across the street from where we were where one of our mutual friends happens to work.

Side note: I was wearing yoga pants, my grey Oregon Ducks sweatshirt and running shoes... I don't know where I got off thinking I'd be able to get in, but my liquid courage was enough to feel certain it wouldn't be an issue.

So there we are- Drunk 1 and Drunk 2 waiting in the foyer of the club waiting for the bouncer to find out if our friend is working. He comes back to tell us that she's not there, but we're persistent and say that he must be wrong so while he goes back to look a second time, we pretend that we're with a group of about 10 other guys that's walking in at that moment (without paying the $30/person cover charge, btw). Once we're in, the bouncer comes up to us and I think for sure we're busted and will be asked to leave- nope! Just laughs and points us to coat check.

Another side note: Drunk 2 and I were coming from a potluck and had a ton of leftovers with us. Have you ever asked if you could check a 6 pound Tupperware of pasta salad? It's great.

So now we're in and Drunk 2 asks me what I want to drink. I've been here before and know that the drinks are hands down the most expensive I've found in the city, but he's offering to pay so even though I know I shouldn't have any more I accept his offer (this is the first of the possible two vodka/soda's). After we finish our $25 drinks, we agree it's time to leave. So Drunk 2 and I collect my belongings... just mine. I find out the next day that Drunk 2 left their jacket and Tupperware full of pasta at coat check... it's just really starting to get good.

If memory serves me correctly, Drunk 2 and I share a cab for a few blocks (though I could have been alone, neither of us remembers clearly) and I ask the cabby to drop me off on the block that I think is my friends. At this point, my phone is dead, so I'm relying on my (fuzzy) memory to get me to my friend’s house (I've been there multiple times prior). I get out of the cab on the block that I swear is where I need to be... only, I don't see their front door anywhere.

I walk around the block for what feels like half an hour.

Nothing. I cannot find my friend’s house.

I step into a deli to ask if they have an iPhone charger so I can get the exact coordinates of my friends house, they claim not to have one. I try at least 3 other deli's, pizza places and bodegas before finally realizing a bar would be the perfect place to find a charger. Most bars have one, and thankfully, my drunken intuitions were right. So I bellied up to the bar and order a drink as I thought it would only be appropriate since they're being kind enough to charge my phone. I think.... to be honest, I know I drank water, but I may have had a vodka/soda here as well.

Anyway... dude on the stool next to mine starts chatting me up. I'm not particularly interested, but I don't want to be rude, and I need to pass the time while I wait for my phone to charge anyway.

Here is the jist of what I remember of our conversation-

me: "Where are you from?" he had a southern accent... I knew he wasn't from NY
him: "North Carolina, how about you?"
me: "Me too! Where exactly?" ok, I'm aware that I'm not from North Carolina, but I wasn't all that interested in giving this guy too much background information, and my parents and brothers live there, so it's sort of half true...
him: "Greensboro, where are you from?!"
me: "Greensboro! Small world, eh?"
me: "You have really nice teeth." -He really did!
him: "Ha! Thanks? How old are you?"
me: "How old are YOU?" - he doesn't look more than a few years older than my younger brother
him: "I'm 22. So are you going to tell me how old you are?"
me: "I'm 24."
him: "I'm not sure I believe you..."
me: "Do you want my phone number? Here's my phone number, you should call me sometime." -No. I did not give him a chance to give me an answer. And no, I was still not that interested.
him: "Ummmm, thanks. Here, here's my address. Do you want to come over?"
me: "NO! BYE!"

I promptly retrieve my phone from the bar tender and make my second attempt at finding my friend’s house.

I get lost, yet again.

But thankfully this time, I have enough juice in my phone to call them. I cannot for the life of me figure out why I cannot find the place, and make them come down stairs because I'm sure I cannot find this place without some giant flashing lights. My poor friend... I couldn't tell you what we talked about to save my life. All I know is I drank as much water as I could and passed out.

Here we are 3 days later and I still have yet to hear from Nice Teeth Guy and am pretty sure I won't. Definitely not disappointed by this either. I mean, who gives out their address?! And, he is 22. I am not 24 (thank god). I woke up feeling terrible (duh). I end up walking from my friend’s house on 83rd & 1st to the West side to get the subway home. It's a miracle I didn't throw up on my walk home.

Lesson learned here people: when you leave the house in sweats it because you don't want to go out and get crazy... so don't! HA!

You ain't all that NYC!

So sad, but so true....

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-brennan-rosenberg/10-reasons-nyc-isnt-as-gr_b_3028111.html

10 Reasons NYC Isn't as Great as You Think It Is via The Huffington Post

March Goals

Posting my goals for February had a significant impact on me. I did a lot of what I laid out for myself and had such a huge sense of accomplishment when the month ended. I will continue to post my monthly goals for the foreseeable future.

March 2013

• Eat sweets (in general, not just the S&S peaches) at work no more than 2 times/week
• Finish the NYC ½ marathon with a smile on my face :D
• Foam roll at least once/week
• Try at least 2 brand new recipes for dinner
• Finish editing and print cruise pictures
• Go to at least one “NYC only” restaurant that I’ve never been to before
• Go to the public library
• Go to yoga at least once (I was not so good at this for Feb. and I hate yoga in general, but I know it’s good for me-   so I’m trying….)
• Go to spin at least once
• Add vegetables to my meals at least twice/day

Thank you to everyone that continues to read about my silly life. I love the encouragement that you give me! Do you have any goals you wish to achieve during the month of March?!

February in review

February 2013: Results

• Run at least 75 miles This did not work out as planned, but only because I got bronchitis the last week of Feb :( I ended up completing 67.42 miles. Had I completed all of the runs I had mapped out for myself, I would have ended up over my goal. This really bummed me out, but I guess it's better that I get sick now, than the week before the race!

• Go to yoga at least twice Nope! Didn't even go once :(
• Take my scheduled cross training days seriously: actually do a full set of weights Frankly, I do not do well with creating my own workouts. I love working out, but I love it more when someone else is telling me what to do. I still did cross training about 2 days/week, I just know I didn't workout to my full abilities, for a number of different excuses: my gym is always packed and mostly full of men who stare at me (I'm also usually the only white/blond woman/person in my gym); I love cardio and have a hard time jumping off the machines to move on to the weights; etc. etc. etc....
• Eat sweet & sour candy peaches from work no more than twice/week I did alright with this, except for the week of Valentine’s Day… there was ridiculous amount of treats in the office and once I start, I can’t stop!

• Bring (healthy) lunch to work at least 4 times/week This is something I was already doing, but I wanted to make sure I stuck with it, and I did!! There were a couple of days that I just stuffed my face with unhealthy snacks from our kitchen, but I would say for the most part, I did well with this and will continue to do so :)

• Get checked for skin cancer This is something I’ve had on my mental to-do list for a very long time. I love the sun, and I love going tanning. Yes, I am aware of how bad this is for me. No, I do not plan to change my tanning ways anytime soon. (sorry I'm not sorry) Thankfully, my skin checked out good! I do plan to continue going back once a year to get checked.

• Hold at least a 1 minute plank no less than twice/week I actually did better with this than I anticipated! If I'm being honest, I probably only averaged once/week; but I did notice them getting slightly easier by the end of the month. But I put a huge emphasis on "slightly"...
• Go to at least 1 spin class CHECK!!! Not only that, but it was theeeeeee best spin class I have EVER taken! Come back in a few days to read my review of this amazing class!
• Find someone to run at least 1/2 of my long runs with me I didn't even bother asking anyone (other than my friend Rachael, who is running the half marathon with me). Last year, I needed the help towards the end of my training. This year? Not so much! I'm trying my hardest, to run in new areas of the city that I've never been to before, which is really keeping me entertained throughout my runs :)
• Do at least 1 thing I could only do in NYC CHECK!! I went to the Museum of the City of New York! It wasn’t the best museum I’ve ever been to. I also didn’t realize that there was a 3rd floor and ended up having to rush through it because I had somewhere to be. I think I’ll go back sometime, to see if the exhibits change, and to look longer on the 3rd floor.

I really enjoyed doing this for myself and would like to continue to keep posting my goals for each month. I mean, who says that goals should only be something we have January 1st?! That being said, check back March 1st, for a new list of goals I've set for myself.

*** Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read this blog lately. It's definitely keeping me inspired to write and post more often! ***

 

NYC dating anecdotes 1

I'm going to go out on a limb here and talk about something I haven't done (this publically) before... Take it for what you will, and enjoy the trials and tid bits from my dating life....

So I went on an OKcupid date (as all of my dates are these days) some time ago with John (name has been changed).
I messaged the him first.
Our messages were just so-so. Nothing too exciting.

Then John asked me if I wanted to go to a movie for our first date. Ugh. Why do guys do this? What makes them think that I would want to sit in a dark theater with them if we've never met before??

I never that was excited to meet him. So that can't be a good sign... But then as I was thinking as I was walking to the restaurant, maybe I've just gone on too many damn OKCupid dates, that go nowhere to get nervous at this point?

John picked a restaurant in the Village. I was excited and irritated at the same time by this because I had to be up so early the next morning (which we had discussed), but rarely go down to that part of the city so I was looking forward to exploring a new spot.

John more or less ordered for the both of us which, kind of annoyed me. Also because he asked me what looked good, I gave him my opinion, and then he ordered something completely different. He ordered veggies... which I'm not a fan of and never would have ordered, but they ended up being tasty, so OK, I'll cut him some slack there.

To drink, he ordered four of what the restaurant called the "Recession Special"- a PBR, a shot of whisky with a pickle back. By the end of the night, he was visibly tipsy. I had 3 glasses of prosecco, so I wasn't exactly Sober Sally, but not near on his level.

Our banter was witty and rarely left much of a pause in between subjects... until the end of the night when it felt like we had asked all of the questions there was to ask.

I was looking forward to going home.
Then I find out, he's riding the same train as me... almost the entire way. Ugh.

As we waited on the platform for the train, I stood with my arms crossed... my typical/comfortable stance and he told me I should stop doing that because it made me look very closed off. Ouch.

Then when we were on the train, I twirled my hair and John asked if I always do that... I asked if I had done it a lot throughout the night, and he said yes. The way he asked made it seem like it annoyed him. Um, sorry?

I was shocked when the next day, and days following he continued to text me, asking when we could see each other again. As I'm sure you can tell from the above story, I wasn't really feeling it, so needless to say, I never did see him again.

Goals (continued)

As promised, here is a list of the goals I have set for myself for the next month. I will do an update after the month is over to let you know how I did (and to keep myself accountable)!

February 2013

• Run at least 75 miles
• Go to yoga at least twice
• Take my scheduled cross training days seriously: actually do a full set of weights
• Eat sweet & sour candy peaches from work no more than twice/week
• Bring (healthy) lunch to work at least 4 times/week
• Get checked for skin cancer
• Hold at least a 1 minute plank no less than twice/week
• Go to at least 1 spin class
• Find someone to run at least 1/2 of my long runs with me
• Do at least 1 thing I could only do in NYC

So there you have it folks! Some of these things have already been mapped out for me to do for a while now, or I've already been doing them, I just want to make sure that I keep up with them. I'm a very competitive person, and hold myself at a higher standard than probably anyone else does- so I'm really hoping that by having this in writing, and ONLINE, I'll actually stick to it!

Goals

Part I...
I don't know if anyone reads this anymore.... I kind of doubt it. If you stopped, I don't blame you.


When I started this blog, it was supposed to be all about my new and exciting adventures of life in the fast lane in New York City. Unfortunately, my life is a bit less than exciting or adventurous.

I go to bed between 9:15-10pm almost every night (even on the weekends...). I wake up anywhere between 4:40am-6am . Even on Sundays, I'm lucky if I can sleep in past 8am. I only go out about once a month, if even that. Every time I leave a Broadway show (which is almost never), I vow to myself that I'll go more often, but never do. I almost never drink anymore, except the random glass of boxed wine from home here and there (just keepin' it classy folks).
It's not to say that NYC isn't exciting anymore, I'm sure it is. But after 2.5 years, it's definitely lost its luster. I feel the nightlife is very “been there done that/same shit different day”. As a 28 year old, I just don't feel like I'm doing my generation justice by living my life in the way that I have been the past year or so. So, I'm sorry to all my mid-late 20-something people... I'd love to tell you that I'll try harder and really take advantage of NYC for all that its worth. But the truth is, I'm not changing, and I don't want to.

After having worked at a gym for about a year and a half, my interest in the health and wellness world/industry has really piqued. Realistically, I drink diet soda more than I should; I have a hard time resisting the jar of sweet & sour candy peaches that my office has in our kitchen; I love cheese and will never give that up; blah, blah, blah. But I am trying. A little while ago, I wrote out my goals for the next 6 months, 1 year, 3 years, 5 years and 10 years and I want to try my hardest to make sure that I accomplish them.

I am really making an effort to make sure that I have a healthy lifestyle that includes whole foods, adequate sleep, a workout routine I can live with, all while trying to juggle a social life sprinkled in there somewhere too.
Let me tell you, all of your granola eating, gym rat friends make it look wayyyyy too easy. I swear their lying. Because I've only recently been putting solid effort into trying to balance it all, and it's really hard... And my social life? Well it is pretty much non-existent.

I have been feeling guilty that I’m not making the most of this time in my life when I’m supposed to be young, carefree, do it all (and on no sleep) etc., etc., etc… I feel like I shouldn’t be allowed to live in New York City.
Thankfully, I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately about nutrition and realize that I just need to remind myself more often, that what I’m choosing to do and how I’m living my life right now, is probably the best thing I’ve done for myself- ever.

A lot of the other health/wellness/fitness bloggers that I try to keep up with have been posting their goals either daily, weekly, or monthly in attempts to help keep themselves accountable. So I’m going to go ahead and follow suit. However, this post has gotten long enough, so you’re going to have to check back in a few days for my Part II… I promise there will be one because I’ve already got it up and scheduled to post, I just didn’t want to bombard the people who actually might be reading this….

To be continued…

Tough times

I swear some post, way-back-when, I posted about all of the "shit New Yorkers" would say to me as a blunt "welcome to New York"... I looked briefly through old posts, but couldn't find it. Doesn't really matter, I was mainly looking for it as a reference to preface this post.
I haven't posted here in over 6 months.
No one seems to have really noticed, so I stopped caring myself.
I started blogging for Cheer NY, and was focusing more on my photography blog (which I recommend checking out if you haven't already). Anyway, you know the story... Life gets in the way, you get busy, you find other things to do to preoccupy your time. My story is no different.
Wanna know what I've been up to?
I've been learning life lessons the hard way. By making mistakes and learning how to never make them again. I've been living the life of what is said to be a typical New Yorker.

1. I've lived in 3 of the 5 borough's (Brooklyn, Queens, and now Manhattan)
2. I've "summered" in Southampton
3. I've seen subway rats
4. I've seen cockroaches the size of my thumbs
5. I have had and experience bed bugs
6. I've sublet my room to a foreigner 

And wait... here's the best one yet....

    7. I'm currently being kicked out/evicted of my apartment. 

I always used to say that apartment hunting was so fun. You got to see what your money can get you (and what it can't); you can see the difference between a skeezy broker vs. a broker with a heart and what a difference it makes; seeing all these different apartments and fantasizing about what your life could be like in these homes is all part of the "fun" right? Wrong. Maybe that's right when you're not under pressure to get out of your home as quickly as possible. But dealing with a bi-polar, lying landlord; running all over the city viewing up to 10 different apartments a day; trying to coordinate erratic schedules with roommates; dealing with agents who decide not to tell you until 2 weeks into the process that you've applied for a co-op and may not get an answer for another 4 weeks... let me tell you, I'm not only not having fun; I'm exhausted.

In the fantasy that plays out in my head, some girl let's say, in the mid-west somewhere has stumbled upon my blog and decides to regularly check back to see if I've posted anything recently so she can help better prepare herself for her big move out East where she'll follow her dreams, yadah, yadah, yadah.... So mystery/make believe girl... this one's for you. Here's my advise from one new New Yorker to another...

• You came here for a reason. Don't forget what that reason is, or let NYC scare you into thinking you don't actually belong here. You do. 
• That reason above that you decided to come out here for? People are telling you it's stupid, right? Telling you that you can't do it, that you won't make it, you'll never find a place to live, never find a job that pays you enough to cover the bills? They're liars. In fact, they're probably just jealous of you for having the guts to do something they didn't. You failing will only give them satisfaction. Let this light your fire. Keep your head up. One day, you'll be able to smile at them and say, "I made it".
• If you're lucky enough to have a friend or family who are willing to let you crash with them while you find the perfect job/apartment; don't feel bad for taking them up on this; but don't take advantage of them. Everyone deserves a chance, don't waste yours by being a rude house guest. Remember this, because some number of months or years down the road, the roles will be reversed and someone will be calling upon you for the same favor.
• You hear real estate goes fast here? Eh, it does... but only if you're not prepared to hand over all of your documents, certified checks, and energy the moment you find a place that feels right. Do not drag your feet. THAT is how you loose the apartment of your dreams. 
• You think you're prepared to spend XYZ number of dollars on rent per month? Do yourself a favor, add about $200/month to that. You'll be glad you did. You'll also have now set a standard for yourself of what is an acceptable place of residence. If you find a great pad for cheaper, great, now go buy yourself a pair of shoes. 
• If you find yourself in a living situation that seems too good to be true, it probably is. Do not move into a place without signing a legal lease with the landlord prior to your moving in. 
• Do not move in with a roommate that you've only met via Skype. A roommate interview is not unlike a job interview... anyone can make themselves look good on paper. Ask them serious logistic questions about their living styles and what it's like to actually live with them. You're both on your own here, you don't want to be stuck cleaning up after them, turning off lights everywhere you go, being the only one who takes the trash out, living on opposite sleep schedules. If you're a  morning person, don't waste your time moving in with someone who is a professed night owl and think it won't bother you. 
• Find friends outside of work. Not that your co-workers can't or won't be cool, but it's important to live a balanced life. Get on Meetup.com, join a running group, take a class, something. Anything. 
• Keep new said friends at a distance until you've really gotten to know them and know that you can trust them. NYC is an "every man for himself" kinda place... you'd be surprised at the number of people you thought were friends who are willing to step on you to get ahead. 
• When you do find a solid group of friends (or friend. Singular): hold onto them tight, but know that their time in NYC might come to an end before yours does. Don't let this get you down, now you know someone you can visit in another state! 
• Find work that will make you happy. There are an infinite number of things you can do to make money in this city. There is no sense in sticking with something simply for the fact that it's keeping you employed with your head above water. Even if you came here with the dream of doing job A, don't be surprised if you end up trying jobs B, C and D before landing and loving job E. 
• Things are expensive here. There's not a more simple way of putting it. That $5 cocktail you're getting from your neighborhood dive bar back home, it's going to cost you $15 here. Things also come in smaller packages, but for the same price, if not higher. They know you need it, and they know you'll pay for it, so you might as well get used to it. 

These are just a few of the things that life has taught me recently. I'm sure another curve ball is just around the corner. And you know what? I'm standing here with my bat up ready to swing. I never thought living here was going to be easy. I had no idea just how hard it would be, but every time I get knocked down and get back up again, I grow a little bit stronger. 

Reunions!

I don't know if this is a secret that no one ever told me about.... but apparently spring time means visitors!

Back in 2009 when I had made the decision to move here, I contacted an old Cheer Ltd. friend, Aisha to let her know that I was moving to NYC as she had been living in the area her entire life. She would more or less be the only person I knew in the area when I moved here. Well as time went on and life happened, we never were able to coordinate getting together when I got here. It wasn't until a year and a half after having lived here that we finally got together! Aisha recently became engaged to a really great guy, Matt, and I could not have been more flattered or honored when they asked me to shoot their engagement photos!

I would really love to share a few with you, but I'm in the process of editing them right now and A&M haven't even had a chance to see them yet... so I need to reserve the first view for their eyes :)

Since A&M's engagement session would be not only the first one that I've shot in a while, but the first one I've shot in NYC... so I needed some reenforcement, I needed to find an assistant!
Unfortunately, all of my photo buddies in NYC were busy that weekend. But very luckily another friend from way back when lives only a couple of states away and is just starting to get into photography.

Mallory and I met in Jr. high and have stayed in touch ever since. She just recently started taking a photography class and I've seen her grow a lot as a budding photographer. I was so happy when I contacted her asking if she would come up from D.C. to assist me on this shoot and she said "yes"!
Just days before Mallory came into down, I had breakfast with another high school friend who lives here, Anna. If you are a loyal follower, you might remember me talking about Anna and Marcos from when I first got to NYC. They were nice enough to let Emily and I stay with them for the first week while we found jobs, our apartment, and our way around the city. Anna, Mallory, and I all went to high school together so Anna and I agreed that when Mallory got into town we'd all have to get together again.
It was so fun catching up with them and listening to all the things we have done and gone through the last 10+ years when we were all together last.... marriages, moves, buying homes, and babies on the way!

Isn't Anna the most adorable preggers you've ever seen!? I cannot wait until May when Anna, Marcos and I will be doing a maternity shoot!

In about 2.5 weeks, my good friend Amber will be coming to visit for a few days. Amber and I met while coaching CHS cheerleading in Portland.

We're going to have a blast shooting her trash the dress and hopefully get in some stunting as well :)

In the middle of April, my mom will be coming to visit me in NYC for the very first time ever!

I'll be running my first 1/2 marathon and I'm so excited that she's going to be there cheering me on at the finish line!

At the end of April, my Major BFF, Amber (different Amber) will be coming to stay with me for a whole week!!!! I haven't seen her since 2008!!!!

I can't wait to have her here and do all the silly, girly touristy stuff with her!

As staying in NYC forever was never really my plan, I encourage all of you to come visit me soon... Spring, winter, fall or summer! I don't know exactly how long I'll be here, or have a plan of leaving, I just know it will happen someday. I'd love to see you before that day comes!

2011 in Review

I wanted to do something a little different than last year. I feel like the majority of you are all friends with me on facebook, so I didn't want to bore you with loads of pictures you've already seen (though, please forgive if there is a repeat or two). Instead, I want to give out one last thank you from 2011 for all the great things I've been blessed to have added to my life this past year....

New Roommates

The most amazing cheerleading team, ever.

1 year anniversary of living in NYC

Fabulous new friends for life

Even more fabulous new life long friends.

The strength and will power to maintain a healthier body

A new found love for running

I'm not sure I'm all that fond of the term "resolutions"; because I feel like, if you don't accomplish them, it sounds like a much bigger disappointment or let down.

So instead Im going to share my goals with you for the future that I will start in 2012:

- eat pasta once a week

- eat fish once a week

- exercise (weights) at least 3 times/week and no more than 5 times/week 

- run at least 3 times/week

- stretch 4 times/week 

- eat 3 banana's/week
- write 1 hand written letter/week

I realize that they are all health/food related, but I'm at a point in my life right now where that is my main focus. I have even decided to put my photography on the back burner a little bit. I'm feeling very burnt out with it, and just don't have the same passion I had for it at one time. I'm hoping a break, and some time to gather some funds to buy updated equipment will help give me back that fire I once had for it.

I hope your 2012 is off to a great start so far! Have you made any goals or resolutions?

Subway music

I don't think a single day has gone by where I haven't heard music in some form or fashion on the streets and subways of New York. 

I would venture to say, that, more often than not- it's more painful, than beautiful.

But a couple of times now, I feel really blessed to be in the right place, at the right time... and my ears get a little treat.

This was one of those times.

At first, I was not all that impressed by this guy. But then he started singing, and then I noticed he's 1) singing 2) playing the harmonica 3) playing the "drum" (or in this case a suitcase) 4) playing the tambourine, 5) playing the banjo...  all at the same time. 

All growing up my mom was really into bluegrass music; and I hated it. But at some point, it grew on me, and I can really enjoy it from time to time. 

I can't begin to tell you how much I was entertained by this guy. I almost feel bad for you, because this clip doesn't even do him justice.

I hope you can enjoy the little taste that I can give you!