I'm Awesome.

I realized after my last post that my last two entries were about breakups.
As if my entire life revolves around men, my relationships or the lack thereof.
I also felt it cast a very negative tone. And well, it was written in the heat of the moment, within hours post breakup and was very raw and emotional and real- I don't want the overwhelming tone of my blog, or ME to be negative. I'm trying very hard these days to be a happier person and project positivity whenever and however possible.

So you wanna know what?

I AM FUCKING AWESOME! I CAN'T BELIEVE I GET TO BE ME!!!!
(*Thank you, Laura Jack, for helping me create my mantra)

So much of my decision to end my last two relationships was for completely selfish reasons. I knew, deep down, that I was fucking awesome, and that I deserved more.

Last night, I went for my usual Monday night run with a friend and went on and on about my sob story of a breakup and my frustration with no one sharing the truth about ending up childless and alone- and I got slapped by another stick. Damnit Abbey! Buck up! So what if you end up alone?! Okay, so it's not ideal and we'll all hope for the best there with that one. But who ever said I had to end up childless? It's 2015 for Pete's sake! If I want a kid someday well, damnit! I'll have one! I can go to the doctor now and look into freezing my eggs. I can look into sperm donation. I can adopt! While I certainly never saw my dreams coming true by way of scientific experiments or knowingly going into parenthood alone, it's not to say that what I want more than anything in life (to be a mother) is completely out of my reach. Now- can we all please keep our fingers crossed that I'll meet the right man, we'll date for an adequate period of time, become engaged, get married, BE MARRIED for some time, thennnn get pregnant? That's my goal! But I will not sit here and refuse to think about my other options if my "dream" doesn't ever come true.

Enough blah, blah, blah of my relationships and single life and let's talk about why I'm fucking awesome and why I have no reasons not to be more thankful for my awesome life and my happiness...

• I'm raw, I'm real. I'm not afraid to show anyone my true self. I don't hide what's on my mind or what I'm thinking. 
• I'm not afraid to show emotion and laugh when I'm happy or cry when I'm sad (I often cry when I'm happy too! Or when I see exquisite dance or hear profoundly beautiful music). 
• I am brave and bold. I have picked up and moved across the country to a total of 5 (FIVE!!!) different states now. I still have friends that have never even left the town we grew up in! (which I actually think is pretty damn brave and bold in other ways)
• I think about the people in my life all. the. time. Okay, so maybe I worry a bit about what other people are thinking of me sometimes. Meh. Oh well. But that's not what I mean. What I'm saying is I'm constantly thinking about my friends. I want to know how their doing, how their job is going, how their relationships are going for them, how I can be a better friend to them, how I can help them become healthier, how I can be there to photograph the next big moment in their lives. I know that I am not a perfect friend 100% of the time, but I'm damn well proud of the amazing friend I know I am a solid 90-95% of the time. 
• At the ripe ol' age of freshly turned 30- I am a WAY better person than I had projected I'd turn out to be if you had asked me 5-10 years ago. If you'd told me when I was a young lass that I'd one day go to nutrition school to become a health coach to help better others lives, I 1) never would have believed you 2) probably would have totally laughed in your face and 3) seriously doubted you for how that would ever be earthy possible as someone who wouldn't eat anything other than sweets and cheese. 
• I workout, and I make my body work for me. I may not be an Olympic athlete, but damn if I don't put my body through the ringer on a multiple-times-a-week basis. There are days when I could win the gold medal in laziest person on earth. But most days, I show my body appreciation for everything by sweating my ass off and building my muscles to become one fit chick!
• I go to bed at a grandma's hour, and hot damn if I'm proud to admit that!! A solid night's sleep is linked to an infinite amount of health benefits, I cannot fathom why more people do not make 8+ hours of sleep a night more of a priority. Trust me, the world will not stop turning if you go to bed before 11pm! 

Speaking of bedtime, I'm already thirty minutes late for mine (if you're looking at the time stamp on this, you read that right- I go to bed at 9pm! Yeah buddy!!!) so I'm gonna leave it there. What an odd, smorgasbord list of things to leave on the internet to show the world why I'm so awesome. But hey, that's just me. Random, all over the place, loud, weird, crunchy, and, well... me!

Friends, tell me! What makes YOU awesome! If you need any help searching for what makes you awesome, I could easily list at least 10 things for you without much time to think. Hit me up! 

In the mean time, keep doin' you and rock your life! Just be yourself, because really, who is better qualified??