I swear some post, way-back-when, I posted about all of the "shit New Yorkers" would say to me as a blunt "welcome to New York"... I looked briefly through old posts, but couldn't find it. Doesn't really matter, I was mainly looking for it as a reference to preface this post.
I haven't posted here in over 6 months.
No one seems to have really noticed, so I stopped caring myself.
I started blogging for Cheer NY, and was focusing more on my photography blog (which I recommend checking out if you haven't already). Anyway, you know the story... Life gets in the way, you get busy, you find other things to do to preoccupy your time. My story is no different.
Wanna know what I've been up to?
I've been learning life lessons the hard way. By making mistakes and learning how to never make them again. I've been living the life of what is said to be a typical New Yorker.
- I've lived in 3 of the 5 borough's (Brooklyn, Queens, and now Manhattan)
- I've "summered" in Southampton
- I've seen subway rats
- I've seen cockroaches the size of my thumbs
- I have had and experience bed bugs
- I've sublet my room to a foreigner
And wait... here's the best one yet....
7. I'm currently being kicked out/evicted of my apartment.
I always used to say that apartment hunting was so fun. You got to see what your money can get you (and what it can't); you can see the difference between a skeezy broker vs. a broker with a heart and what a difference it makes; seeing all these different apartments and fantasizing about what your life could be like in these homes is all part of the "fun" right? Wrong. Maybe that's right when you're not under pressure to get out of your home as quickly as possible. But dealing with a bi-polar, lying landlord; running all over the city viewing up to 10 different apartments a day; trying to coordinate erratic schedules with roommates; dealing with agents who decide not to tell you until 2 weeks into the process that you've applied for a co-op and may not get an answer for another 4 weeks... let me tell you, I'm not only not having fun; I'm exhausted.
In the fantasy that plays out in my head, some girl let's say, in the mid-west somewhere has stumbled upon my blog and decides to regularly check back to see if I've posted anything recently so she can help better prepare herself for her big move out East where she'll follow her dreams, yadah, yadah, yadah.... So mystery/make believe girl... this one's for you. Here's my advise from one new New Yorker to another...
- You came here for a reason. Don't forget what that reason is, or let NYC scare you into thinking you don't actually belong here. You do.
- That reason above that you decided to come out here for? People are telling you it's stupid, right? Telling you that you can't do it, that you won't make it, you'll never find a place to live, never find a job that pays you enough to cover the bills? They're liars. In fact, they're probably just jealous of you for having the guts to do something they didn't. You failing will only give them satisfaction. Let this light your fire. Keep your head up. One day, you'll be able to smile at them and say, "I made it".
- If you're lucky enough to have a friend or family who are willing to let you crash with them while you find the perfect job/apartment; don't feel bad for taking them up on this; but don't take advantage of them. Everyone deserves a chance, don't waste yours by being a rude house guest. Remember this, because some number of months or years down the road, the roles will be reversed and someone will be calling upon you for the same favor.
- You hear real estate goes fast here? Eh, it does... but only if you're not prepared to hand over all of your documents, certified checks, and energy the moment you find a place that feels right. Do not drag your feet. THAT is how you loose the apartment of your dreams.
- You think you're prepared to spend XYZ number of dollars on rent per month? Do yourself a favor, add about $200/month to that. You'll be glad you did. You'll also have now set a standard for yourself of what is an acceptable place of residence. If you find a great pad for cheaper, great, now go buy yourself a pair of shoes.
- If you find yourself in a living situation that seems too good to be true, it probably is. Do not move into a place without signing a legal lease with the landlord prior to your moving in.
- Do not move in with a roommate that you've only met via Skype. A roommate interview is not unlike a job interview... anyone can make themselves look good on paper. Ask them serious logistic questions about their living styles and what it's like to actually live with them. You're both on your own here, you don't want to be stuck cleaning up after them, turning off lights everywhere you go, being the only one who takes the trash out, living on opposite sleep schedules. If you're a morning person, don't waste your time moving in with someone who is a professed night owl and think it won't bother you.
- Find friends outside of work. Not that your co-workers can't or won't be cool, but it's important to live a balanced life. Get on Meetup.com, join a running group, take a class, something. Anything.
- Keep new said friends at a distance until you've really gotten to know them and know that you can trust them. NYC is an "every man for himself" kinda place... you'd be surprised at the number of people you thought were friends who are willing to step on you to get ahead.
- When you do find a solid group of friends (or friend. Singular): hold onto them tight, but know that their time in NYC might come to an end before yours does. Don't let this get you down, now you know someone you can visit in another state!
- Find work that will make you happy. There are an infinite number of things you can do to make money in this city. There is no sense in sticking with something simply for the fact that it's keeping you employed with your head above water. Even if you came here with the dream of doing job A, don't be surprised if you end up trying jobs B, C and D before landing and loving job E.
- Things are expensive here. There's not a more simple way of putting it. That $5 cocktail you're getting from your neighborhood dive bar back home, it's going to cost you $15 here. Things also come in smaller packages, but for the same price, if not higher. They know you need it, and they know you'll pay for it, so you might as well get used to it.
These are just a few of the things that life has taught me recently. I'm sure another curve ball is just around the corner. And you know what? I'm standing here with my bat up ready to swing. I never thought living here was going to be easy. I had no idea just how hard it would be, but every time I get knocked down and get back up again, I grow a little bit stronger.
